2. Permitted to beat Wives:

 “Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband’s] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance – [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them.” Quran 4:34. Sahih International.

Muslims try to explain this away that beating is only a light beating. Here, one has to understand that beating is the third level of punishment. So it is not any lighter punishment from other two earlier steps. Al-Tabri says, one should not beat wife so as to break her bones.

`Aisha said that the lady (came), wearing a green veil (and complained to her (Aisha) of her husband and showed her a green spot on her skin caused by beating). It was the habit of ladies to support each other, so when Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) came, `Aisha said, "I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women. Look! Her skin is greener than her clothes!" When `Abdur Rahman heard that his wife had gone to the Prophet, he came with his two sons from another wife. She said, "By Allah! I have done no wrong to him but he is impotent and is as useless to me as this," holding and showing the fringe of her garment, `Abdur-Rahman said, "By Allah, O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! She has told a lie! I am very strong and can satisfy her but she is disobedient and wants to go back to Rifa`a." Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, to her, "If that is your intention, then know that it is unlawful for you to remarry Rifa`a unless `Abdur-Rahman has had sexual intercourse with you." Then the Prophet (ﷺ) saw two boys with `Abdur- Rahman and asked (him), "Are these your sons?" On that `AbdurRahman said, "Yes." The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "You claim what you claim (i.e.. that he is impotent)? But by Allah, these boys resemble him as a crow resembles a crow," (Sahih Bukhari 5825, Bk. 77, H.42).

Muhammad did not rebuke the man for beating his wife. In fact, he reproached the woman for saying Rahman was impotent. Even though she was hurt Muhammad justified her bruises and beating because to Muhammad it was not abuse. In Muhammad’s eyes she deserved the beating.

 Though being Muhammad’s wife had many great advantages, even Aisha and Hafsah (two of Muhammad’s wives) were physically disciplined. Note that in each case when Aisha was struck she was married to Muhammad and she was probably younger than 16 years old (Sahih Muslim #2127).

 ‘…Allah's Messenger laughed and said: They are around me as you see, asking for extra money. Abu Bakr then got up went to 'Aisha and slapped her on the neck, and 'Umar stood up before Hafsa and slapped her saying: You ask Allah's Messenger which he does not possess. They said: By Allah, we do not ask Allah's Messenger for anything he does not possess…’ (Sahih Muslim #3506).

The context for this Hadith is that Muhammad had been very upset because of his wives. He almost divorced them all! His closest friends came to cheer him up. Umar mentioned that he had slapped his wife because she wanted more money than he felt he could give. Muhammad laughed when he heard that. Then he pointed out his wives’ demands for more money. As a result, both fathers were angry and slapped their respective daughters. Physical discipline was used to bring the wives into line. Muhammad didn’t slap his wives but he approved others doing it for him.

Muhammad hit Aisha in her chest (Sahih (Darussalam), Sunan an-Nasa’I 3963, Bk 36, H. 25). Muhammad chest-slapped Aisha and "caused her pain". This action is not "wife beating" in the strictest sense, but it shows that a woman can be struck under certain circumstances. Muhammad’s ego was challenged, and he was probably frightened by seeing her shadow late at night. In his anger he struck Aisha.

If you are flogging your wife as you do a slave then don’t do sex that day with her.

 

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "None of you should flog his wife as he flogs a slave and then have sexual intercourse with her in the last part of the day." (Sahih Bukhari 5204, Bk. 67, H. 138).

Here Muhammad is not saying do not flog your wives as you do a slave, but if you do that then do not sleep with her that day.

 

Reasons a Muslim can hit/ beat his wife (Q.4:34).

 

1. Refusal for sex

2. Not taking bath after sex.

3. Not to show herself beautiful to her husband (only to her husband and not to anyone else).

4. Not praying.

5. Go out without husband's permission. (He can refuse permission even to meet aging parents).

6. Inviting others without husband’s permission. He can deny permission to invite children from her another marriage).

This wife beating is per the discretion of the husband. No one can question why a Muslim beat his wife.  (Abu Dawud 11:2142). And Tafsir of Al-Qatbari says tie the wife down in her bed room and beat.

In Afghanistan 92% of women say men are justified in beating their wives for several reasons. This percentage is different in other countries. Iraq has 51%, Sudan 47%, Balochistan 62% mention just a few.